


Luke Wasn't That Good of a Shot

by TinyButFierce



Category: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:50:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyButFierce/pseuds/TinyButFierce
Summary: The real reason the Death Star blew up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write this, it was necessary.
> 
> I own nothing.

Kx453 wasn’t very good at his job. Yeah he had the same training as everyone else and ate the same food and watched the same funny cat videos, but he just didn’t do very well. He knew why. He was the laziest stormtrooper in their garrison.

His friends sometimes asked him, “Hey, why you don’t shoot that rebel ship down using the gun that you have in your hand?” He would reply that he wouldn’t because he didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, he just didn’t want to. 

He’d been changed from station to station, given every job possible, not doing any of them and yet still evading the attention of Vader. Dumb luck some would say, Kx453 just didn’t care. 

Finally, after an incident in which five stormtroopers were crushed by a metal part falling from the ceiling that he didn’t feel like attaching just right, they gave him the perfect job. Big red button watching. It involved him sitting in a comfy chair in a drab room by himself, guarding a button that everyone said would “destroy the Death Star if pushed; for God’s sake don’t push the button.” Hey, he may be lazy, but he wasn’t a mutineer, you wouldn’t see him pushing that button anytime soon. So he spent his time watching How I Met Your Tauntaun and drinking way too much coffee. 

One day however, everyone seemed to be running around for some reason and all of the emergency lights were flashing, Kx435 didn’t really care though, his job was to watch the button, so he sat down with his coffee and turned on Sithflix, excited to see if the new episodes had come out. 

Suddenly the whole base shook and Kx435 went flying forward, coffee spilling out of the cup almost in slow motion. Unable to stop himself he landed on top of the button and the 20 second countdown started. He swore. They told him to memorize the emergency stop codes, but he hadn’t. He gave a resigned sigh and took one last sip of his coffee. 

The rebel fleet flew away, cheering when they saw the Death Star explode, Luke being hailed a hero. Seriously though, the designers of the Death Star weren’t stupid enough to have a vent that big that could destroy the whole station. No, it was the managements fault; they put Kx435 in charge of the big red self destruct button. Luke wasn’t actually that good of a shot.


End file.
